Oklahoma Is Not Even One Time OK!
Three times the excitement! Three times the action! Three times the drama! This is the wonderful line TBS uses when they decide to run the same movie all weekend. I really don't understand how it can be three times the excitement, action or drama. It seems to be the same amount no matter what day you watch it. Clarksville and all of Middle Tennessee seems to be tornado alley of late. This is very different from what I am used to. So it stood to reason that I ended up on a trip to Oklahoma. With all the luck of getting drilled by storms, I thought my luck really hadn't changed to much and I would experience storms there. After all, Oklahoma is the real tornado alley. I arrive in Oklahoma with not much to do, so I decided to watch tv. You will never guess what was on tv! Are you done guessing? It was Twister! All weekend long! Come on! It was amazing how everytime I turned on the tv, it was playing. This really made me wonder what was in store for me. I decided to check out the weather and I had a great change in luck. It was to be sunny and in the 80's and 90's the entire time. So maybe I was a little premature about thinking Oklahoma was a terrible place.
Everyone decided to go out to eat (there was eight of us). The hotel staff had told us of a wonderful restaurant in town called "Meers." So we all made a trip out there. Way out there. It wasn't even in the same town we were. It took about 30 to 40 minutes just to get there, but at least we were there. I was starving. We get seated immediately at a picnic table with benches and a round table to add two extra seats. I was sitting on the picnic bench. Our large waitress comes over to take our drink order. She stands behind me but certain parts of her are on top of me. I move in toward the table as much as possible but she is still hang out on top of me. After getting our drinks, she starts to take our food order. Again, she is standing behind me and because she is a large woman, parts of her were rubbing up against me. This was making me uncomfortable but it was a small discomfort. As long as I got some good food, I will be alright. One person tried to order chicken. She told us they were out of chicken. Then he tried the tenderloin. She said they were out of the tenderloin. He asked what the special was. She said it was barbecue. He tried to order it and she responded with they were out of the special. There seemed to be a pattern here, so we asked what do you have. She said they had burgers and steak. Well, that was easier, so I ordered the famous 1 lb burger called the Prospector. I couldn't wait to eat the best burger in Oklahoma. After ordering the burger, one person asked how big it is. Since she was on top of me she used my head as a visual aid. It was about as big as my head. Then she looked at me and said, "You are kind of squirmy and wormy." What? Are you kidding me? A couple of people ordered the salad bar. The only problem with ordering that was that they were out of lettuce. That is usually an important part of a salad. Don't you think? After a short wait, our food was coming out. Everyone got there food except for me and one other person. I started to think about my Cracker Barrel dream. I was praying that that was not going to happen here. After waiting a few minutes, the waitress comes with my food. I ordered my burger without onions and it comes out with a ton of onions. I really wish that was the most glaring problem with my burger. I have a round pan with a hamburger in it, but I also have probably 3/4 of meat grounded up all around the actual burger. What is this? Isn't the whole thing supposed to be a burger pattie on a bun. I got a burger pattie on a bun but it was smaller than the pile of beef just laying around it. If this wasn't bad enough, the waitress started telling us how they would check for worms in squirmy wormy people. Something about bending over and using a flashlight. Come on! What wormhole did I go through to get here?
Well, I have officially moved. Benjamin helped me move and consume about 20 Starbucks Frappacinos. I am exaggerating, it was about 15. I really need to go to rehab.
This blogs news story is "Would-be robber asks bank how to do it." I believe it is good practice to ask how to do something if you don't know how to do it. But if it is illegal, you may want to avoid asking advice from someone that can get you arrested.
Everyone decided to go out to eat (there was eight of us). The hotel staff had told us of a wonderful restaurant in town called "Meers." So we all made a trip out there. Way out there. It wasn't even in the same town we were. It took about 30 to 40 minutes just to get there, but at least we were there. I was starving. We get seated immediately at a picnic table with benches and a round table to add two extra seats. I was sitting on the picnic bench. Our large waitress comes over to take our drink order. She stands behind me but certain parts of her are on top of me. I move in toward the table as much as possible but she is still hang out on top of me. After getting our drinks, she starts to take our food order. Again, she is standing behind me and because she is a large woman, parts of her were rubbing up against me. This was making me uncomfortable but it was a small discomfort. As long as I got some good food, I will be alright. One person tried to order chicken. She told us they were out of chicken. Then he tried the tenderloin. She said they were out of the tenderloin. He asked what the special was. She said it was barbecue. He tried to order it and she responded with they were out of the special. There seemed to be a pattern here, so we asked what do you have. She said they had burgers and steak. Well, that was easier, so I ordered the famous 1 lb burger called the Prospector. I couldn't wait to eat the best burger in Oklahoma. After ordering the burger, one person asked how big it is. Since she was on top of me she used my head as a visual aid. It was about as big as my head. Then she looked at me and said, "You are kind of squirmy and wormy." What? Are you kidding me? A couple of people ordered the salad bar. The only problem with ordering that was that they were out of lettuce. That is usually an important part of a salad. Don't you think? After a short wait, our food was coming out. Everyone got there food except for me and one other person. I started to think about my Cracker Barrel dream. I was praying that that was not going to happen here. After waiting a few minutes, the waitress comes with my food. I ordered my burger without onions and it comes out with a ton of onions. I really wish that was the most glaring problem with my burger. I have a round pan with a hamburger in it, but I also have probably 3/4 of meat grounded up all around the actual burger. What is this? Isn't the whole thing supposed to be a burger pattie on a bun. I got a burger pattie on a bun but it was smaller than the pile of beef just laying around it. If this wasn't bad enough, the waitress started telling us how they would check for worms in squirmy wormy people. Something about bending over and using a flashlight. Come on! What wormhole did I go through to get here?
Well, I have officially moved. Benjamin helped me move and consume about 20 Starbucks Frappacinos. I am exaggerating, it was about 15. I really need to go to rehab.
This blogs news story is "Would-be robber asks bank how to do it." I believe it is good practice to ask how to do something if you don't know how to do it. But if it is illegal, you may want to avoid asking advice from someone that can get you arrested.
posted by Brent | 9:30 PM
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