Get Down With The Sickness
Well, I'm back! Yes, I said that in the last blog I wrote. It was just a teaser to this one so I felt like I could write that again. I'm definitely back! At least I worded it a little different. I have been sick for the past week so I did not do to many exciting things. The best was going to Andy and Elizabeth's wedding. It was very beautiful and tastefully done. I particularly liked the music used when the bride came down the isle and when Andy and Elizabeth were walking away after being announced Mr and Mrs Kirk. A couple of U2 hits. Pretty cool! I received a complement from Andy that night asking if I had lost some weight. And to answer this, yes I have. It is a new weight loss craze that I just discovered last week. It is called the flu. You will drop weight fast in just a few days. I dropped the necessary pounds just in time for the wedding. I am going to continue to stay mildly ill so that I can keep the weight off for the 2 upcoming weddings this month. The only down side is the constant snot running out of my nose which I have been told is not a very attractive look. I guess you have to take the good with the bad. I am wanting to bump my diet up a notch to the bird flu but I am having trouble getting chicken imported from China. Not sure what the big fuss is there!
About 2 weeks ago my smoke detector started chirping about every 10 seconds. Of course, you all know how annoying that chirping is and how it never starts doing this until you are either trying to go to sleep or you are asleep and it awakens you at 3:00 am. And why do the home or apartment builders/managers have to put these detectors up as high as possible? Ok maybe because smoke rises, but couldn't we at least have it in arms reach. I know I am short, but come on! Well, it was late at night and I was trying to sleep and my smoke detector started chirping. I didn't have any 9 volt batteries like I always swore up and down I would keep on hand so that this would never happen again. I tried to just lay there, hoping that it would somehow stop and I could go back to my slumber. But the cold hearted machine had no mercy. I got up and walked over to it in the upstairs hallway (which is next to my bedroom). It chirped again in defiance. I flipped the light on in the hallway and stared up at it. I decided at that moment that I would just rip it down from there just for the night. Tomorrow I would pick up some batteries. I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed the first thing I saw. The kitty condo. This is a little stand made out of cork board with carpeting around it. My cat, Bugsy, loves to sit and claw this thing. I don't know why I chose this. Again, it was very late at night. I was not thinking. I placed the kitty condo below the detector and proceeded to climb up and stand on the condo. The condo is built to withstand the weight of even large cats (maybe up to 50 lbs), but it was no match for my 165 lbs. It seemed as if I stood up on it for about 3 seconds before crashing through the entire thing. As I stood there with my entire leg through the condo, the smoke detector chirped. That stupid detector! So I went back into my bedroom and got my desk chair (a much more stable choice). I was able to get the detector down and removed the battery. My poor cat looked at his condo in what I perceived to be shock. That cat literally stared at the crumpled wreckage for a solid 5 minutes. I new I would have to go purchase a new one. I wish I could use the excuse that I was sick then, but unfortunately I was just sleep deprived and annoyed. Oh well!
My news story of the week is "Farmer feeds family friend's corpse to pigs." Wow! I guess this shows that we all now have a third option. Burial, cremation or pig feed? You know I was leaning hard toward cremation but the pig feed really has me thinking. This could be another source of income for funeral homes. They can show you various sizes and prices of caskets or urns as well as personalized burlap sacks.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my sickening blog this week. Hope you come to read again.
About 2 weeks ago my smoke detector started chirping about every 10 seconds. Of course, you all know how annoying that chirping is and how it never starts doing this until you are either trying to go to sleep or you are asleep and it awakens you at 3:00 am. And why do the home or apartment builders/managers have to put these detectors up as high as possible? Ok maybe because smoke rises, but couldn't we at least have it in arms reach. I know I am short, but come on! Well, it was late at night and I was trying to sleep and my smoke detector started chirping. I didn't have any 9 volt batteries like I always swore up and down I would keep on hand so that this would never happen again. I tried to just lay there, hoping that it would somehow stop and I could go back to my slumber. But the cold hearted machine had no mercy. I got up and walked over to it in the upstairs hallway (which is next to my bedroom). It chirped again in defiance. I flipped the light on in the hallway and stared up at it. I decided at that moment that I would just rip it down from there just for the night. Tomorrow I would pick up some batteries. I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed the first thing I saw. The kitty condo. This is a little stand made out of cork board with carpeting around it. My cat, Bugsy, loves to sit and claw this thing. I don't know why I chose this. Again, it was very late at night. I was not thinking. I placed the kitty condo below the detector and proceeded to climb up and stand on the condo. The condo is built to withstand the weight of even large cats (maybe up to 50 lbs), but it was no match for my 165 lbs. It seemed as if I stood up on it for about 3 seconds before crashing through the entire thing. As I stood there with my entire leg through the condo, the smoke detector chirped. That stupid detector! So I went back into my bedroom and got my desk chair (a much more stable choice). I was able to get the detector down and removed the battery. My poor cat looked at his condo in what I perceived to be shock. That cat literally stared at the crumpled wreckage for a solid 5 minutes. I new I would have to go purchase a new one. I wish I could use the excuse that I was sick then, but unfortunately I was just sleep deprived and annoyed. Oh well!
My news story of the week is "Farmer feeds family friend's corpse to pigs." Wow! I guess this shows that we all now have a third option. Burial, cremation or pig feed? You know I was leaning hard toward cremation but the pig feed really has me thinking. This could be another source of income for funeral homes. They can show you various sizes and prices of caskets or urns as well as personalized burlap sacks.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my sickening blog this week. Hope you come to read again.
posted by Brent | 8:23 PM
2 Comments:
Poor Bugsy's condo! Lol..thats too funny..Hope you are feeling better..Talk to you soon...Love you Sam
You had me laughing my a$$ off. Glad to see you're updating and to hear you're just about over the flu.
Post a Comment
<< Home