Paroled and Tasty!

Hello everyone! I'm back! I don't know why I keeping writing that I'm back. I guess I just like it. I know it has been a couple of weeks but I have been busy. First, I am getting ready to move. Not from Clarksville, at least not yet. But I am moving in with a friend/co-worker. It should save me a lot of money. I can see the light out from my dark grave of bills and I am extremely excited to get started saving money for a special trip and maybe a house (I can only hope!). My good friend, Benjamin, came to visit me for a few days. It was a lot of fun. We watched some good and bad movies, ate Burritos Fresh, drank Starbucks, played putt-putt and hit some baseballs in the batting cages. To elaborate, Burritos Fresh is a Mexican restaurant that serves mostly burritos. But these are no ordinary burritos. Oh no! These burritos weigh about 5 lbs. At least they feel that heavy. They have about a pound of meat and then they load you up with rice, beans, guacamole, jalapanos, etc. They serve the biggest burritos I have ever seen. I can eat the entire burrito but I can't eat anything else. Great restaurant! Also, I should mention that I actually did hit a baseball in the batting cage. Just don't ask how many where pitched to me. I did foul tip one off my knee. That should count as a hit. After all, it was contact. More recent, I went home to Knoxville on Friday the 14th for my mother's birthday. It was great seeing her as well as my sister and father. I wish I was able to spend more time with them. I made a stop in Nashville on my way back to Clarksville. I stopped at Life Assembly to see John's play being performed at church. It was called Shriveled Heart and it was excellent.

Now I am back here in Clarksville, playing with the idea of online dating. I just don't know about this. It is like I am applying for a job. You put your resume in the website in hopes that a potential employer thinks that you would be a good fit. If you pass the resume part, then you get interviewed. You talk for a while and if you pass this interview, then you get to the second interview which is in person. Sounds way too business like, but then again lots of people are meeting there spouses this way. I was still curious so I thought I would look at a few websites. I could not believe what I saw. It is crazy! Someone actually put on the title next to her picture "Tasty Stacy." Then I saw another one say "Paroled and Ready!" Good Lord! I am not even sure what to say about that. I am sure there are good people out there but seeing that doesn't make me feel too good about this online thing. Not sure that I will go through with it but Muffy is telling me I should at least try it. If nothing else, I will have some good blogging material.

"Phony doctor gives free breast exams" is this blogs news story. Are you kidding me? Please don't get a home breast exam from a doctor you don't even know. I know it's free but come on. You should really pay an actual doctor to sexually assault you. At least you will know the results. Terrible!

Well, until next time.

Pattie's Presence Causes Another Injury

What is it about Pattie and me having injuries or illnesses. I can't escape this curse. Back in early 2003, Pattie and Vanessa went with me to New York. I had a cold but it quickly turned into a full blown illness when I arrived in New York. I was so sick that Pattie's aunt, who is a health care professional, thought that I was in serious trouble. She was ready to take me to the emergency room. Then in 2004, I went on a trip to Las Vegas with Pattie. It was a rough trip as my right foot was broken. I tried to keep up with Pattie but it is difficult walking in a wooden shoe down the Las Vegas strip. Quite amusing too! Now to this weekend. Pattie comes to visit and mysteriously my shoulder is completely screwed up. I can not lift my hand above my shoulder. It is very painful. So I am finally making the connection. It is Pattie. I am not sure how she is doing it, but if you see her, walk away carefully (don't run, it gives her a chance to make you trip and fall). I am not sure how Rich is still alive. Actually, I haven't heard from Rich since the wedding. Someone better check on him.

The wedding I was referring to was Vanessa and Ken's. It was a very beautiful wedding. Everyone looked great. Good job everyone!

Well, since nothing too bizarre has happened to me this week (thank God!), I am going right to my news stories. Yes, I said "stories." I have 2 stories this time. The first one is titled "Loyal donkeys better than wives, says textbook." Now I agree that wives can complain sometimes, but I don't know about the donkeys. Maybe they do complain. After all, a donkey is commonly referred to as an "ass." They probably just sound a little less irritating. But why donkeys? Maybe there is another animal out there that would be even less irritating or more compatible. I am not sure what would be better but I know a bird would be worse. They are noisy most of the time and crap all over things.

The second is titled, "Jesus may have walked on ice, not water - study." What? Is this really what an oceanography professor at Florida State University studies? Maybe he should be studing the ocean for pertinent issues here in present day. Personally, if Jesus did walk on a piece of ice floating in the water, I think that is also a miracle. Do you know how hard that would be? Incredible! Either way it's a miracle.

Until next time and remember WATCH OUT FOR PATTIE!