March Madness!

Well, it is definitely that time of year again. The greatest sporting event period. The NCAA 64 team tournament. It is so exciting. I know quite a few people that are reading this paragraph and all they will comprehend is blah, blah, blah. Sorry, but I love basketball and the tournament. If you wish, skip to the next paragraph. It is not about sports. Every year I fill out a bracket and every year I watch as I hardly get any picks correct. It's funny how you always lose to someone who has no idea what they are picking. A couple of years ago, I did a bracket with my coworkers. The person that won chose the winners based on whether she liked their name or uniforms. How does that happen? I'm watching ESPN and doing research on the internet. Shouldn't I win? Actually, I don't put too much weight into winning the tournament pool. I just enjoy rooting for Tennessee, the SEC, and all underdogs. Nothing is better than a small 13, 14 or 15 seeded team beating a major high ranked program. March Madness is great!

Speaking of madness, I went to church this Sunday. I went to the early service which is at 8:15 am. After the service was over, I went downstairs to the Sunday School classrooms. I was waiting outside in the hallway to make sure I had the correct classroom. One of the teachers came out and introduced himself. He asked me what class I was looking to attend and then proceeded to invite me to his class. Although he did say that their class was actually helping with the lunch. I thought this would be a lot of fun. The lunch that they do is for the homeless and poor in the city. This is done every Sunday and each Sunday School class rotates working and serving. I helped prepare some food from 9:30 am to 10:30 am (mainly bread - real tough!). It was unbelievable how much food was there and it was all donated by restaurants and grocery stores. We started serving the food at 10:30 am. We had a buffet line that served hot food at the beginning and deserts at the end. I was in the middle serving salad. Everything was going well and I really felt good about helping. Then I turned to my left and saw one man near the deserts and he started taking off his coat. Then he proceeded to take his pants off. Yes, you read that correctly. This man just took his pants off inside the church. Now the madness comment at the beginning of this paragraph is starting to make sense. Only wearing underwear, he starts walking towards the kitchen area. I am in shock and turn to the woman beside me. As I am telling her there is a man walking around in his underwear, he apparently vomits in the kitchen and heads back out towards us. Now, everyone is fully aware of this half naked man. Thankfully one of the men in charge of the Sunday lunch stopped him from walking out of the dining area and into the sanctuary where the second service is being held. He helped the man get his clothes and escorted him out. The lunch was a great experience except for the half naked vomiting man. Some things you just don't expect to see at church. At least this was not me making a fool of myself in church. I have done this several times. There was the time in Milwaukee where we had a church service in a gymnasium. They used wicker baskets for the offering. I took the basket from the usher and proceeded to pass it down. I did not notice that my watch had caught on the wicker and also that the person next to me did not have a hold on it. I let go and brought my arm back in to my body. The basket turned over and the money was slung out. Why did people have to give so much change? It rolled so well on the gym floor. I had thrown money all over the floor. At least I didn't yell "money changers" as Jonathan suggested.

Here is another news story of the week, "Psychics to try contacting Lennon in TV seance." This is an all time low for TV. They are trying to contact people that we already know how they died. Wouldn't it be more exciting to contact Hoffa and find out where he was buried? And who killed him? Or maybe contact JFK or Marilyn Monroe? Why contact people that can't tell us anything important? Apparently in the first show, Princess Diana's spirit said her limo ride sucked. Wow, that's a shocker! I am sure this isn't a rip off. It's on TV. It has to be true.

Get Down With The Sickness

Well, I'm back! Yes, I said that in the last blog I wrote. It was just a teaser to this one so I felt like I could write that again. I'm definitely back! At least I worded it a little different. I have been sick for the past week so I did not do to many exciting things. The best was going to Andy and Elizabeth's wedding. It was very beautiful and tastefully done. I particularly liked the music used when the bride came down the isle and when Andy and Elizabeth were walking away after being announced Mr and Mrs Kirk. A couple of U2 hits. Pretty cool! I received a complement from Andy that night asking if I had lost some weight. And to answer this, yes I have. It is a new weight loss craze that I just discovered last week. It is called the flu. You will drop weight fast in just a few days. I dropped the necessary pounds just in time for the wedding. I am going to continue to stay mildly ill so that I can keep the weight off for the 2 upcoming weddings this month. The only down side is the constant snot running out of my nose which I have been told is not a very attractive look. I guess you have to take the good with the bad. I am wanting to bump my diet up a notch to the bird flu but I am having trouble getting chicken imported from China. Not sure what the big fuss is there!

About 2 weeks ago my smoke detector started chirping about every 10 seconds. Of course, you all know how annoying that chirping is and how it never starts doing this until you are either trying to go to sleep or you are asleep and it awakens you at 3:00 am. And why do the home or apartment builders/managers have to put these detectors up as high as possible? Ok maybe because smoke rises, but couldn't we at least have it in arms reach. I know I am short, but come on! Well, it was late at night and I was trying to sleep and my smoke detector started chirping. I didn't have any 9 volt batteries like I always swore up and down I would keep on hand so that this would never happen again. I tried to just lay there, hoping that it would somehow stop and I could go back to my slumber. But the cold hearted machine had no mercy. I got up and walked over to it in the upstairs hallway (which is next to my bedroom). It chirped again in defiance. I flipped the light on in the hallway and stared up at it. I decided at that moment that I would just rip it down from there just for the night. Tomorrow I would pick up some batteries. I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed the first thing I saw. The kitty condo. This is a little stand made out of cork board with carpeting around it. My cat, Bugsy, loves to sit and claw this thing. I don't know why I chose this. Again, it was very late at night. I was not thinking. I placed the kitty condo below the detector and proceeded to climb up and stand on the condo. The condo is built to withstand the weight of even large cats (maybe up to 50 lbs), but it was no match for my 165 lbs. It seemed as if I stood up on it for about 3 seconds before crashing through the entire thing. As I stood there with my entire leg through the condo, the smoke detector chirped. That stupid detector! So I went back into my bedroom and got my desk chair (a much more stable choice). I was able to get the detector down and removed the battery. My poor cat looked at his condo in what I perceived to be shock. That cat literally stared at the crumpled wreckage for a solid 5 minutes. I new I would have to go purchase a new one. I wish I could use the excuse that I was sick then, but unfortunately I was just sleep deprived and annoyed. Oh well!

My news story of the week is "Farmer feeds family friend's corpse to pigs." Wow! I guess this shows that we all now have a third option. Burial, cremation or pig feed? You know I was leaning hard toward cremation but the pig feed really has me thinking. This could be another source of income for funeral homes. They can show you various sizes and prices of caskets or urns as well as personalized burlap sacks.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my sickening blog this week. Hope you come to read again.